Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
