Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Alive.
So much puke
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
