Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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