I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
