I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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