Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
