No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
How's work?
Spinning.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
