i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
