I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
