I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
