This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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