If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
