I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
