So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
All the doctor said was why
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
