I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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