Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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