Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
