Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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