I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
