He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
