WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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