So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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