brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
