omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
