She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
