Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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