I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
