Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
