I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
