Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
