i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
