I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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