Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
