Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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