I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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