Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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