they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
