Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Randomize
