I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
