did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
