Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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