How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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