i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
thus making me awesome and them whores
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
