I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
she was so not down for the gang bang
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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