What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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