So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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