hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
