NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
