yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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