Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
