Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
bring money and cleavage
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
