i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
